#BraveLikeJoel
Name: Joel Stetler
Age: 36
Diagnosis: Fibromyxoid sarcoma
Years of Survivorship: It's complicated: 10 years since a doctor misdiagnosed it as a hematoma in my leg, 4 years since it was diagnosed correctly (stage 4 by then).
Location: Coarsegold, California
Follow Joel on Twitter, Instagram.
How has running or staying physically active affected your cancer journey?
Running and being physically active have helped me recover from the myriad of treatments since my diagnosis. My doctor has pointed that out on numerous occasions. But what I didn’t expect was the mental recovery I’d experience through all those miles.
My diagnosis came shortly after I hit a major personal running milestone. On my 32nd birthday, I decided to run my age in miles. My first ultramarathon distance. I was stoked when I finished it. But several weeks later, just after Thanksgiving in 2015, I was given the news that I had a rare form of cancer for which there was no known cure — not even a known treatment.
I think I just assumed that running would no longer be a part of my life from that point on. Full time work, six months of aggressive chemo, and a lung surgery kept my mind far away from health and fitness.
It wasn’t until we approached my next birthday when my specialist told me about a 5k race benefiting the Sarcoma Foundation of America. As fate would have it, it was scheduled on my birthday! Before I knew it, an entire team was rallied around my family to run this race, complete with matching #bringbackthebeard shirts.
It may have been just 10% of my distance goal, but that 5k served as the pivot point to get me focused again. Not just on running, but in life in general. That event kick-started my renewed focus on what I would later hear Justin Grunewald refer to as “relentless forward progress.”Since then, I’ve found that the more I open up, the more fighters I meet. And I’ve met some of the best fighters while running.
With the guidance of my wife Amanda and the support of my friend Blaine, I managed to get myself back up to marathon distance in time for the 2019 San Francisco Marathon. That training cycle and race showed me that while cancer may be the monster in my car (as Amanda and I have always referred to it), it doesn’t get to decide where we go.
I was still sore from the San Francisco marathon when Amanda showed me a Brave Like Gabe post on Instagram asking if anyone would wear a charity bib for them at the 2019 New York City Marathon. She asked me if I’d consider it. I said “yes,” and her response was “Good, because I already told them you would!”
The next eight weeks became a whirlwind of training and community support that was so positively overwhelming. Prior to my NYC training cycle, my runs were angry. The trails had been the place I went to get mad at my circumstances. But with the San Francisco marathon under my belt, NYC on my horizon, and Brave Like Gabe in my corner, the trails became the place where I didn’t just face my demons, but repurposed them to be a catalyst for growth and healing in my cancer journey.
Not long after NYC, I was contacted by the amazing Phil Shin, asking if I’d like to join Team Brave Like Gabe in the Los Angeles Marathon. By now, these were my people. There was no question - so I hit the trails again, this time with the massive surplus of hope I received from San Francisco marathon and NYC. Every run was a therapy session. Every mile gave me more reasons to hope for a cure. Every interaction with Team Brave Like Gabe was an affirmation that Amanda and I aren’t alone in this fight.
Race day in Los Angeles confirmed it: running is life-giving.
Mark, Phil, and Joel finishing the 2020 LA Marathon.
What advice do you have for people on staying fit throughout their cancer treatment or recovery?
Don’t let your cancer define for you what “realistic” is -- your reality is malleable.
Listen to your body.
Communicate your goals clearly with those who support you.
Keep the easy runs easy and the hard runs hard. Trust your training. Treasure every mile.
Say hi to people on the trails - even the cyclists.
Take advantage of adversity - even a strong headwind has its benefits.
Forget your Garmin and headphones every now and then.
Don't waste your energy running someone else's race - your path is exciting and interesting enough. Lengthen your stride.
Enjoy your current pace - you never know when you're going to miss it.
Run with someone who challenges you, but also run with someone who needs you.
Plan ahead.
Be optimistic, but don't assume bathrooms will be unlocked.
And of course - never, ever forget why you started running.
What are some of your proudest accomplishments since being diagnosed with cancer?
After the Race to Cure Sarcoma on my birthday in 2016, my doctor kept encouraging me. We had been on the fence with the idea of moving to CA where there was more access to sarcoma research and where my teaching credential was valid. But there was one big question: was cancer going to give me enough time to pursue a new career in teaching - something I had wanted to do for years? My doctor’s answer to that question did more than advise on a move to the west coast; his answer reshaped our approach to how we experience the world. He said, “Would it make any difference if I told you there was only a year left? Wouldn’t doing something you love become all the more important? Go teach!”
Within weeks, I was on an airplane to interview for the job I have now. But getting a classroom was only the beginning. Before we packed up and left Denver for the west coast, Amanda and I celebrated by climbing more than 14,000 feet to the summit of Mount Bierstadt and by getting lost in Thailand together. As I look back on these memories, I think of what Justin Grunewald said: “Stop making bucket lists! Do stuff!”
It seems to me like my proudest accomplishments come from listening to the doctors that I know. Go teach. Do stuff.
I’m proud of my classroom. I’m proud of the experiences I’ve had and continue to have with Amanda and our kids. But this is all due to one thing: when the cancer monster unexpectedly jumped in our car, we decided from day one that it doesn’t get to drive -- we’re still in control. And that is what I am most proud of.
Phil at the Pasadena Half Marathon.
How has Gabe's story impacted you or changed the way you view life as a cancer patient/survivor?
When we were driving to San Francisco for the 2019 Marathon, Amanda played some Gabe Grunewald interviews for me as inspiration. Listening to her talk was like listening to someone take the worst of what we had experienced, flatten it out, and paint a beautiful picture on it.
My diagnosis had left us questioning whether we would ever be happy again. In the funk that is the shadow of a diagnosis, the sky is dim and the world is pale. Gabe said that life is “lived in technicolor” if you challenge that darkness. I hate that I have cancer, and I hate what it wants to do to me and my family. But stepping out from this idea that a happy life is no longer an option was the most enriching move we ever made.
I’m what you might call a ripple in the water. I never got to meet Gabriele Grunewald. But she made a meteoric splash in the rare cancer community and the Stetlers are riding that wave with grateful hearts. Today, there isn’t a single mile I run that can’t be traced back to the #runningonhope mindset.
“Being #BraveLikeJoel means:
Amanda and I have always referred to cancer as the monster in our car. He got in one day and won’t get out. But we’ve found that we can still make the decisions about where this car is heading and what we’re going to do when we get there. With that in mind, I like to intentionally live life with the visualization that one day, we’ll get to kick him out of the car. Being #BraveLikeJoel means telling the monster in your car that he doesn’t get to drive. ”
What are you most looking forward to in the near future?
I’m looking forward to seeing where these ripples in the water are going to take us. Being aligned with Team Brave Like Gabe has opened me up to some people and experiences that have put wind at my back. The monster in my car is gonna have to move over - because we’ve got a whole crew of BLG runners gearing up for the 2020 California International Marathon.
Is there anything else you'd like us to know about you?
I always tell my students in my third grade classroom to never be the reason someone else has a bad story to tell. Kids’ families always ask how school was - don’t be the bully or the mean comment that someone tells about when they’re having dinner at home.
Be the reason someone has a good story to tell. Make someone glad they saw you today.